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Why Do I Feel Like No One Understands Me?

Self | Attie Murphy | 7 mins

"Why do I feel like no one understands me?" You might ask yourself this question because you think you're different from anyone else, but many others share that feeling (It lives in my mind rent-free). We have unique ways our minds work, yet we're connected in our desire for understanding. We all need someone to love us for who we really are. In a world of endless opportunity, we can try to fill the time and bury our loneliness, but that never leads to peace. How can you break free from your internal walls? Will you ever "click" with another human being? Do your thoughts have any purpose outside of your mind? There is an answer to all your questions.

Someone sees you.

Creepy? No. Your Creator knows and values you. There is no thought you can hide from Him. He knows everything you've done and everything you will do. That might seem intimidating, but the beautiful fact is that nothing will change how much He loves you. Because of Jesus, you can trust your future is secure. Self-doubt comes naturally when you only believe in yourself because you are not the center of your life. Before you evaluate how to connect better with others, work on connecting with God. Trusting in the One who already understands you will help you understand yourself. When you struggle in your human relationships, you can know you're never alone, and your life has a profound purpose. No matter how discouraged you feel, you can bring that doubt to God. He will hear you and care for you. 

"You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely." - Psalm 139:1-4

The Bible tells us that the world's approval is not where our fulfillment lies. We should seek wisdom to use our strengths for God, not to fit into a mold. Stress, depression, or loneliness may not just "go away," but God's Word will produce positive growth when you open up to it. You don't have to feign perfection, but you do need to embrace God’s plan for you. God's path tells us to put on the armor of God and seek solace in His presence. You can do that even when you're out of energy or hiding in despair. No matter where you come from or what you've done, Jesus offers you a place in His Kingdom. 

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." - Psalm 68:5

Here are some practical steps you can take when you don't know where to turn:

Let your heart go to God. 

God already holds your heart, but you won't always feel like it. When you feel alone, misunderstood, or broken, lay it all on the line. Accept God's rest and healing before you chase your own expectations. Take some time without searching for a solution. Soak in Scriptures that affirm God's compassion and encourage revival (Start with Psalms!). You're bound to see that thousands of years ago, people had the same questions for God that you do - and He provides peace. 

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." - Matthew 28:20

Grow in who you are. 

You can embrace the real you when you recognize the lies you tell yourself. Whether it's mental health, temptations, or any other hardship, those challenges don't define you. In Craig Groeschel's book "Winning the War in Your Mind," he puts it simply: "Remove the lie; replace with truth." 

Instead of asking, "Why do I feel like no one understands me?" you can ask, "What are my gifts and how can I feed them?"

Reveal where you need help. 

Self-awareness doesn't mean self-deprecation. True self-awareness means using the Bible as a reflection and seeking support outside of yourself. Acknowledging our struggles helps us relate and learn from each other. Even if it's just one person, getting perspective from someone else will help you work through pain and uncover your gifts. 

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." - 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Listen to understand. 

No one is heard when we're all thinking of the next thing to say. So it's refreshing when someone genuinely listens, and we want to learn more about that person. If you want to be understood, start by understanding. Show others you care about their unique issues, and you'll probably discover you have something in common. 

"- let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance..." - Proverbs 1:5

None of us are complete enigmas in separate boxes, but we tend to picture ourselves there. Let's stop doing that. Let's believe in our worth and never give up. We are individual members of one body, part of something so much bigger than our earthly lives. Yet God cares about all the little things that affect us. He cares about our loneliness and every question we have. God didn't create us just to push forward; He knows us and wants to lift us up. Let's run to Him with arms wide open and follow His lead to love people (including ourselves). 

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Written By

Attie Murphy

An avid writer since the age of 5, who loves to explore new ideas and places. Inspired by Jesus, books, and travel.

Published on Sep 22, 2022