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God sees every piece of who we are, so why is it hard for us to bring our most important issues to Him? Sometimes we beg God for help when we reach our limits, but we hesitate to trust Him. That lack of trust is because we treat God like anyone else, as our moral support, cheering us on from the sidelines. Even when we believe He does have control, we doubt that He will provide the outcomes we want. And that's where we're right. Amongst the realities of sin and free will, things won't get easier just because we want them to. However, God does promise that He has a plan for every rough patch to produce something good when we rely on Him. God will lead us when we seek Him, and we need to step forward when we don't know what's next.
So now we'll get to the topic at hand: How can you practice that kind of trust in your marriage?
Accept desperation; reject hopelessness. When you hear the words, "Never give up," do you relate it to pushing forward? What if you have nothing to push with and aren't sure what you're pushing toward? If that's how you feel about your marriage right now, it's okay to admit you're at a point of desperation. That doesn't mean you have to accept hopelessness. You may not have hope in yourself or your spouse, but there is always hope in God. It may not seem like it at the moment, but God can help you restore your hope in your relationship. There is no shame in showing Him you have nothing left to give. He already knows. Once you stop pressuring yourself to have a solution, you can open up to the change God wants to do in you.
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7
Let go of your ego. It can feel downright gross to humble ourselves toward someone who has wronged us. Of course, this isn't the attitude Jesus shows us, but it's the attitude we've adapted from sin. Even when there's "right" and "wrong" on both sides, you've likely had times in your marriage where you're sure the other person should apologize first. When things aren't resolved, it will go against your instincts to let your guard down. Yet that's precisely what you need to do. Things might be complicated, and you might not know how to talk things through yet, but you can still go to your spouse and ask them to join you in bringing your marriage, and the issue, to God. If you seek wisdom together before pointing fingers, you'll have more solid ground to work on.
If your spouse has their guard up or is an unbeliever, this step can cause a lot of frustration, and like every step, will require a lot of prayer. The more you trust God to work in your heart, the more intentionally you can bring God's will into your actions and have influence.
God designed marriage as a reflection of His love, and it pains Him to see when it's broken. Our Father knows we are flawed and hurting, and He urges us to go to Him to heal our relationships. We don't need to hide in shame when we are struggling. So whether there are small bumps in your marriage or you are completely disconnected from your spouse, the answer is to bring it to God. You probably won't receive a "magic" idea to solve your problems, but you will grow in how you deal with each situation as God leads.
Finally, here are some examples of the power God has in marriage:
How God Saved My Marriage
You Can Trust God When Your Marriage is in Trouble
What Research Says About Couples Who Pray Together
Written Content Coordinator at Sun Valley Community Church. An avid writer since the age of 5, who loves to explore new ideas and places. Inspired by Jesus, books, and travel.